AskEMME: I DO?
Q: My boyfriend and I have been dating for a year and a half, and we’re thinking about getting married. The problem is my family really doesn’t like him, and they’ve planted some serious doubts in my head. They see that he loves and respects me but feel that as a musician, he’s not ambitious enough. I earn considerably more money that he does, and it bothers my family that I basically support him, sometimes working extra shifts to do so. I admit that this concerns me as well. I resent that he has so much free time between gigs and lessons, and I worry how we’ll manage financially if we have kids someday. Still, I love him all the same. What should I do?
A: Why in G_d’s name are you working 2 shifts to support your BOYFRIEND? Your gut is already telling you what you need to do. I would keep in mind Mom and Dad’s concerns and speak to your boyfriend about your building resentment – because it sure as heck is not going to go away until you address it, and it may only grow. Tell him its another job to help out, pick up a part-time job between gigs to help pay the bills or adios! A lot of performers have paid their way waiting tables. How he reacts to your suggestion will say a lot about him. If he’s open to it, sweet. If not, figure out if you can live with the life you have as it is now for many years to come, married with children. Think long and hard – this is your future you have every right to stand up for.
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* AskEMME previously published in MODE Magazine